


A Lie Told Often Enough Becomes Truth #25-7-7

by Palytoxin



Series: Love & Pride [5]
Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Before the final, Halle2018, M/M, Roger’s POV, unbeta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 20:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15080771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Palytoxin/pseuds/Palytoxin
Summary: He buries his face in his palms. Think about what you have achieved, Roger Federer! Think about them! He tells himself. It’s worth it. It’s worthy of everything he has gotten.





	A Lie Told Often Enough Becomes Truth #25-7-7

**Author's Note:**

> Roger looked so tired in both Stuttgart and Halle....Is there anything wrong with him?  
> The way he played against Coric wasn't even a little bitt like him. I'm so worried...
> 
>  
> 
> Please be free to comment～it's always pleasure to know your thoughts or get kudos.  
> Thanks for reading~xoxo

He is horribly restless. He can’t focus on his game. His mind isn’t here. His body isn’t willing to obey. He won the Stuttgart but it was terrible. He almost scrambled over it. It felt like his body and mind were keeping resist him. He tried to reset his mood, but it just got worse day by day. This is not what he has expected from his three-month off. 

 

 

He skipped the clay season again. It is sensible with the great outcome he achieved last year. It should have worked. But this year is just not the same. It is just like someone snatched away that three months from him, leaving only a huge blank.  

He misses the smell of red dirt, the sun, the heat and the feeling of being pushed to the physical limit. He misses the incomparable thrill that facing Rafa on his favorite surface. His sensation narrows,  restricted on the court. Everything outside is no longer important anymore. His game is always lifted to another level every time they play against each other. 

He was spoiled. Their schedules were almost overlapping in 2017. They often had lunch or dinner before a tournament started and sometimes they met at the final, like it were 2006 or 2007, like the time everything was bright and hopeful before he ruined all of them. They haven't played any match this year. They haven’t met since Australia Open. It makes him itching for contacting, just calls or texts aren't enough. 

 

He knows those youngsters like Rafa more than like him, even though they keep saying he is their idol. However, it's just too much that they practiced with Rafa, going training at Rafa’s academy, hugging tight and putting their hands over Rafa’s back at the net. He is jealous. He wishes it could have been him but Tony had warned him many times, it got extremely weird that he constantly mentioned Rafa or appeared around him too often.

He was actually in Paris last month, he should have gone to him, even just saying hello. He should have done what he wanted. Otherwise, it would not have driven him crazy when he saw those Rafole or Nolafa bullshit on twitter. How could a person be such annoying? He didn't have a good relationship with the Serbian since the very first time they met. He didn’t know why. Maybe because of personality or both of them wanted to be the center of the people on the circuit? They have bothered each other’s way too many times. He could list thousands of reasons that they could kill each other for. He never figures out whether the Serbian tries to get Rafa’s attention by provoking him or he wants to drug his attention by sticking around Rafa. But fine, this is a game they've played almost ten years. He thought he could stand for it. 

 

However, his practice sessions hadn't gone smoothly since then, even the cool air from his home mountains couldn’t soothe him. He was distracted. French Open was a big event that he couldn't block all the news of it. And he also cared about how Rafa did. He got some troubles early this year, withdrawing from two or three tournaments. He wanted to know how Rafa’s wellbeing was, but it wasn’t easy to get a real answer from his mouth. They’re still rivals anyway. His mood got up and down with Rafa’s matches going. Rafa always started slowly at the beginning of a tournament. He looked much more tired than last year, struggling with his serve game and influenced by the weather too much. But he still managed to reach the final and beat Dominic in straight sets. Triple Undecima, he couldn’t be more proud of him. Although he was scared by the cramp in the third set, too. 

He congrated Rafa by text right after his eleventh final win. He knew how the routine went like. Rafa would be super busy and have no time to reply. He waited until the next night to call him, wishing it would be some free time that they could have a proper talk. 

It made his day when Rafa picked up his call. Hearing Rafa’s voice always lighted everything up around him. But the bliss was destroyed too soon by an interruption from someone telling Rafa that Sascha was drunk and they couldn't persuade him to go back to his hotel. He knew too well about Rafa’s tendency to take care of everyone around him, but wasn't it too much? This kid seemed to have tagged along with Rafa since last French Open. 

 

Things didn’t go well in Stuttgart. He lost his first set in three months with an unexpected quick way. His backhand kept hitting the net. His movement was sluggish. Halle wasn’t great, too. His forehand went too far frequently. He even hit a smash shot into the net. He couldn’t suppress his temper but throw a tantrum on the court. He felt extremely tired, he didn’t know why. 

 

 

All of these frustrations burst out after he saw the photo of Rafa’s birthday party today. What the fuck Zverev there did? His arms wrapped around Rafa’s waist, the whole body clinging to him tightly. There is no way he could mistake the look of Rafa’s soft smile, adoration showing in his eyes, obviously in love. 

He is mine! MINE! He wants to shout it out. But he can’t. He has given it up a long time ago. He buries his face in his palms. Think about what you have achieved, Roger Federer! Think about them! He tells himself. It’s worth it. It’s worthy of everything he has gotten. 

 

He screwed up. There is no way he could survive from the final tomorrow. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Ref.

#1 [Roger with Möet & Chandon in Paris (5/24)](https://www.vogue.com/article/roger-federer-launches-a-limited-edition-champagne/amp)  
#2 [Roger got a code violation in Halle semi-final](https://www.express.co.uk/sport/tennis/978708/Roger-Federer-Halle-Open-frustrations-code-violation-tennis-news/amp)  
#3 [Rafole or Nolafa? on Nole’s Twitter](https://twitter.com/djokernole/status/1000421382310707205?s=21)

**Author's Note:**

> Tony: Tony Godsick, Roger’s manager


End file.
